Dieciséis

Two blogs in one week? What?! Madness!!!

For those of you who never read my Facebook note about toothpaste (yes, I write about fantastic and interesting things), I use Listerine brand. They make a gel toothpaste that is incredibly strong and leaves my breath feeling minty fresh for hours. I don't really like other brands because my breath doesn't feel clean when I'm done brushing. Granted, it has always been a bit more expensive to stick with the Listerine brand, but I can scrimp and save in other areas of my budget--I refuse to compromise my oral hygiene. I can shop for clothes in thrift shops, buy generic brand food, and only buy used dvds... but I am not willing to negotiate on my toothpaste preference. I spent too many years in braces, expanders, rubber bands, headgear (yes, headgear; no, there are no photos), and a retainer to allow my teeth look anything short of spectacular.

But there is a problem. I think they may have discontinued Listerine brand toothpaste. It is no longer available in grocery stores or Walgreens. (And let's face it, if Walgreens doesn't have it, what hope is there?!)

It doesn't exist for cheaper than $4 online. I am extremely disheartened by this discovery.

Quince

In 7th grade, I took a "computer" class. I felt pretty slick, because we spent most of the class learning how to type correctly. I quickly figured out that I could whiz through each of the terrific timed typing tests (I like alliteration; I'm going to try to add some more) if I only learned to reach the big, blunt, beautiful backspace button. (Ok, that was a stretch--the backspace button isn't that attractive.) I was kicking butt in my typing class... or so I thought. Soon, the sad, startling secret behind my success showed itself; I was losing points each time I hit the backspace button.

What is that supposed to teach children? Are we supposed to sit back and say that solving our somewhat serious life situations is stupid and superfluous? "I realized you've discontinued the dilemma, but it's indubitably inconsequential, because your monumental mistake must make a mark on your life. For-ev-er." (Sandlot style.)

It's no wonder so many kids have self-esteem issues.

On a somewhat related sidenote, if I'm going to sacrifice capitalization or punctuation in a text or message, it'll always be capitalization. It is much easier for me to understand that "kris" was supposed to be "Kris" than it is for me to guess that "your" means "you're". (I also rarely capitalize my name. I think it looks better in all lower-case letters.)

Catorce

The joy known as asthma is currently dominating my life. As always, frustration leads to some analysis.

Alex made an excellent point in an email he wrote to me this week. He wrote this:

I hope you're feeling better, or if you're not, that you start to immediately! I don't know why people say "soon".
"I hope you start feeling better soon"... It's like they want you to suffer just a little more first.
Masochists.

Also, I don't understand why people are asking if I'm sick when I clearly sound like a man. I almost want to respond with, "No, I just thought I'd try something new." Here's your sign.

Trece

Sometimes if a minor incident occurs at the beginning of my day, I'm a little wary at what the rest of the day might bring. These incidents can be anything from spilling coffee all over myself, falling down the stairs, or smacking my head on the top bunk. (All of which I have done... more than once.)

This particular morning, I was the first person on the schedule for the desk, meaning I would perform the "opening" tasks. These include security rounds, calling Coro to let them know we're open, and physically cranking open the window. Opening is easy. Usually.

Today, however, just as I began to crank the window open, the lever snapped off. All of the sudden I was holding the lever and it was not attached to the window-opening mechanism. This left me with an open slit of about two inches where I could peek (very creepily, I might add) into the lobby.... and there was no way to actually open up the desk area. The emergency maintenance response was quick, and they ended up having to dismantle the entire cranking apparatus to find the problem. The guy said it was going to break sooner or later. (It figures it was during my shift.)

Although I was in shock that I "broke the desk", the situation didn't really surprise me.

*****

Update: Later, during the same glorious shift, I also managed to lock myself out of the desk area. This left me with one option: vault myself back over the counter. Excellent. I'm very acrobatic and coordinated and such, you see.

Doce

Consistency and reliability are pretty difficult characteristics to personify. Life gets in the way, sleep deprivation leads to forgetfulness, and priorities are imposed upon us. Nonetheless, I have been (for the most part) a consistent and reliable person... until recently. I can't figure out quite where the disconnect has been occurring, but somewhere between making plans, writing them down, and executing said plans I haven't been able to manage to keep up with things. I've always been the kind of person who makes lists and reminders on Post-Its, in planners, or on my hand. However, all of the aforementioned methods of reminding myself about what I am supposed to be doing seem to be failing me at the moment. I can't remember anything without it being written down. And sometimes I forget before I even have the chance to write it down; there's just no hope at that point. This is all very, very strange to me.

Once

At first glance, my title says "once", meaning "less than twice". It is actually Spanish for "eleven" and is pronounced "on-say".

I was in Hallmark today because I'm a nerd who likes sending cards to people. They have a wide variety of very specific card genres... "From Both Of Us" (who is "us"?), "For Father and Significant Other" (the girlfriend? the mistress? the fiance?), and "From the Dog". Now, the "From the Dog" genre never really bothered me. In my mind, it was an excuse to break the present limit. "No Honey, this one isn't from me--it's from Fido! See, the card even says so!" (Strange, but justifiable.) Today I found a card genre that said, "For the Dog."

Really, card companies?

(Brian Regan understands me. For proof visit: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cj9KUwSGKOs&feature=related - enjoy!)

Diez

In retrospect, I should've made my blog names Spanish letters, not Spanish numbers. I never learned the Spanish alphabet, or at least it never made its way into my long-term memory. My freshman year in high school I learned a Spanish alphabet song, but it was an echo song where the class echoed the teacher. Once I left his class, I no longer knew what I was doing. Though I struggle to remember the verses I've forgotten, I know they've left me forever. I only hope I never have to spell something important in a Spanish-speaking country.

That was a fun class. I went to Europe that year with a group of students and my Spanish teacher. I got lost in Rome and it was one of the scariest adventures of my life. But I did eat the most delicious pizza ever. And far too much gelato.

Also in that Spanish class, I learned that it is perfectly acceptable to copy someone else's homework and in-class assignments as a way to learn a foreign language, as long as you make sure they are not an idiot.

Nueve

Ethnomethodology is a study of the social norms and accepted behavior in society by means of breaking down those norms and observing people's reactions. A good example would be walking into an elevator and facing the other passengers as opposed to facing the doors like everyone else. I am a fan of this concept because it creates awkward situations.

I live in a dorm with community bathrooms. When it comes time to brush your teeth each night, you have five sinks from which to choose. I've noticed that there is some unspoken rule as to the process of teeth-brushing. If Person A begins brushing her teeth before Person B, Person B cannot complete her teeth-brushing until an acceptable period of time has passed after Person A has finished. In essence, you must start and stop in the same order. If you begin brushing your teeth after someone and then finish before them, your personal hygiene is called into question.

I enjoy pushing the social norms and seeing how people react. If I am the first person to start brushing my teeth, and someone else begins after me, I will brush my teeth for five minutes just to see if they'll stop first. They never do. And that's ridiculous, because at some point you're just scrubbing the enamel off of your teeth and there is no toothpaste left--it's just foam and saliva.

I have concluded that people are way too concerned with what others think. This very scientific qualitative field research study will serve as my evidence.

Ocho

Sometimes I work really hard to finish my readings and study for exams. Usually, if I do finish my readings, the teacher says to forget about it. Or if I only get half of the reading done, I have focused on the wrong half. Or, if I give up because I'm tired of wasting my time on assignments that will inevitably be canceled, they aren't canceled!

I had two quizzes and an exam today. I did not study for the quizzes until this morning. I've been studying for the exam for the past week.

So, naturally, I rocked the quizzes and bombed the exam.

"Kris, why do you think you bombed the exam?"
"Because I didn't know the answers."

Siete

In the 3 1/2 years I have owned my 1996 pick-up truck, I haven't had any major problems with it... You guessed it--until today!

So my truck won't start. It sounds like it wants to, but then shuts off. "Yeah, Kris, I'll start up like normal... wait... almost... JUST KIDDING!" In explaining what was wrong to my dad, who is technically the owner of the vehicle, I actually said, "Dad, it's teasing me--it has no real intention of starting!"

That's when I realized that I need to take an automotive class of some sort, because today I was totally useless. (I did pop my hood successfully... only to realize I had no idea what I was looking at.) I also realized today that I haven't spent much time befriending mechanics the past few years. Bad choice on my part.

I think the best part of this whole situation is that when I parked my truck, I parked in a space on the ramp of the parking garage and the guy next to me was crooked, so I had to park crooked as well... so now, since the other guy is gone, I'm the awkward crooked truck in the garage... and I can't fix it... and there is a good chance we're going to have to push it out to get it towed. ("We" being the four or five people I will recruit to help me.)

I laugh as I picture the fiasco this could turn out to be. Oh my.

"I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose." - Woody Allen