33: In which I break the blog title rule and a barista breaks a social rule.

I am mildly insulted that today my Starbucks barista assumed I wanted my latte nonfat. I'm not trying to be super sensitive, but this is the third time someone has made that assumption. Different people every time. Different stores every time. I clearly say what kind of latte I want, and then they call it out and add that I want it nonfat. I don't even like milk that much, let alone if it's watery skim milk. I just feel this is an assumption that should never be made, because I don't feel comfortable correcting their mistake. What would I say? "No, please, I want the extra calories; I'm clearly not dieting if I'm at your coffee shop." I mean, I could say that, but I wouldn't because then I'd really feel terrible about myself.

If I am going to spend more than $1 on a cup of coffee, I want to make it count. Did you think I was going for a healthy meal when I ordered a slice of coffeecake to compliment my chai? But alas, I am now committed to a watered-down coffee experience, because YOU have made me feel uncomfortable about wanting the real deal.

The psychological aspect of this situation fascinates me.

Treinta y dos

I wrote in July that I'm not a "crier". And I wasn't lying; up to that point in my life, that was a true statement. It makes me laugh now, because sometime within the last six months that changed. And that's okay. It's just an odd thing to have to get used to. Somehow though, I feel more human, more real, as a result of this change.

Something that constantly amazes me is how much music can affect you. Some of the most beautiful music I've ever heard both heals my heart and solicits tears. In the past, I spent a lot of time avoiding beautiful music because of the emotional component. I'm starting to appreciate it more. Although it requires more of my emotional energy, there is so much more substance and depth, it's worth it.

In the past few days I've played my piano more than in the past few years. Or maybe ever. I hope this isn't a short-term kick. I really want this to continue. If I can't have silence in a physical manner, at the very least it quiets my mind.

"Without music life would be a mistake." - Nietzche